5 Ways to Bounce Back from Being Ghosted
Dating and relationship coaches can help their clients a great deal with a lot of problems. Every person is unique and every person struggles with a different field of dating and relationships. But it seems that the issue many people have with ghosting is a persistent one.
Being ghosted is not a pleasant experience at all. You feel things are going good, and you feel like you and the other person are about to hit it off. And then suddenly there are no more replies to your messages, no callback, nothing. That is enough to drive anyone upset. Working with a coach on resolving the aftermath sure is fruitful, as is adopting some of the following strategies for coping with ghosting:
- Stop chasing ghosts — deep down you know that once it has gotten to this point, they are not coming back. If the other person cared enough about you, they wouldn’t ever cut communication like that. Don’t ever try to justify this sort of act, or present an excuse for them. It doesn’t matter what is going on in their life. The reality is that if they cannot elevate you high enough in their priorities to give you a call or write a message, they are not worth pursuing. No matter how desperate you are, you should let it go. You have got better things to do than chase ghosts.
- Stop talking to ghosts too — if you bump into the same person twice, the best thing you can do is ignore them. Some people find it extremely embarrassing and even anxiety-provoking. But most dating and relationship coaches agree that the best thing you can do is to walk on past them. That is the only way to score a win against what they did. If you stop to ask for an explanation or talk to them, then it is a score for them.
- Realise it is all about them — when something like that happens, you might fall into the trap of criticising yourself too much. You will be wondering what you did wrong, what sort of flaw you showed them to deserve this kind of attitude. But that is a mistake. You are giving the other person too much power. Understand that ghosting only shows their values or lack of rather, and it is not about your flaws. That is like signalling they would rather run, if they encounter something they don’t like in a relationship, even from an early stage. So make sure to tell yourself that it is not about you, but about them.
- Ghosts are very different — you should consider the type of person that ghosted you. Some people are just prone to ignoring others they find uninteresting. They may have invested some effort on your first date, but then quickly showed you their true colours. Other people who ghost are just indifferent about other people’s feelings. And then there are also the kind of ghosts who may want to float back and forth in your life. There are different operating styles, which all show poor values that you should stay away from.
- Be more mindful — think of ghosting as a way out of a potentially troublesome relationship with a problem person. The fact that it happened should be enough to signal relief, or at least that is what you should shift your mind to.
Ghosting is a bad practice, which shows poor values from a person. It is important to adopt these coping mechanisms so that you don’t allow it to get you down.
