Six Ways to Keep the Spark Alive in Your Relationship

Every relationship goes through its magical moments at conception. There are the fond memories of the first date, the flirting, the rom-com moments and little by little, it grows into a long-term committed relationship that slowly loses its charm. It gives way to busy schedules, stress, housework, errands, and real-life moments that are not so charming and magical.

There are many reasons why couples lose the initial spark. Growing resentment, busy work schedules and trivial tasks slowly erode a strong connection. When romance dwindles, the spark is lost, especially if both partners aren’t committed to keeping it alive. But there are ways to prevent this and keep the charm even in a long-term relationship. Here are a few tips:

Try a new thing together

Whether travelling to a new destination together or taking up a class as a couple, you should try to break out of your habits. A routine can make you feel stuck and numb to all the reasons why you love your partner. Not only does trying something new together engage you in a fun activity, but it also re-connects you to your partner.

Make more eye contact

Romance doesn’t always thrive on grand gestures/displays of affection. Intimacy can be in small moments, like making eye contact with your partner. This one is a tiny thing that you two can do to boost your connection. When you are talking, making eye contact tells the other person that you are listening and present.

Play a game of asking each other for something new

Partners can keep their spark alive by engaging in games and activities that test their partner’s devotion. One such is asking each other for something specific to work on each week. Perhaps it could be that you want your partner to plan a date night or buy you something. Maybe they will ask for more alone time in return or feedback on their work. Such actions will teach you much about each other and turn it into a habit of doing something for your partner, even when they have not asked for it.

Spend some time apart

Time apart can be a perfect thing in a relationship. Whether it be just one hour for a yoga class, going out with colleagues after work, or taking a break with the boys/girls for the weekend on a trip somewhere. What this does is give you both some space to miss each other. Besides, you will have something to think about when you do your own thing.

Make laughter a top priority

laughter is the best medicine and one of the best ways to keep the spark in your relationship alive. Build up inside jokes, bring up funny memories and show your sense of humour in any way you can. It will create a very strong bond between you. When you are together for the long run, you need to learn to take things less seriously and instead use humour during uncomfortable moments.

Be the change

when you want your partner to do or say something, you should stop just nagging them about it. Instead, start giving to them. A committed partner will always show how much the other is showing effort and do the same.

All of these strategies work to improve the spark between you and keep it alive at times when it is dwindling.

© Kate Mansfield Dating Coach



I am Kate, a professional relationship coach in London.

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